School.

It's good here. Love my roommates and there is just a feel of newness in the air. Like, this year will be better than last year. I'm going to make it so.  I miss home more than I thought I would but I'm slowly adjusting. I, at 19 years old, have my first bunk bed. I went 19 years. And now the streak must be broken. Eh, what can you do? I am writing this post laying down because I can't even sit up in this bed. It's my little cocoon. Anyways it's really peaceful here and the people are wonderful!

Tomorrow morning I have Spanish 1010 at 8:30. After 12 years of spanish classes I'll be sitting in on a 1010 class! Must. Test. Out.

I write this blog for you Mom, hey Mom! I miss you. We had a good summer, sorry for the poopy last day : ( Thanks for letting me cry on your lap for hours upon end this summer. That was nice. Good luck on the house!!! Send me updates. Love you.

tremendous!

I move today! So! Excited! Yay! (that is my excited face!)  yayayayayayayayya! LOL! LOLZ! YES.

my first last day

TODAY! WAS! MY! LAST! DAY! at the corn stand :(

Sad face. It was a great summer. I've written about it enough on here.
But, one more thing, I NEVER even got to say goodbye to my 40 year old stalker. I bet he misses me so much.
Learned a lot this summer.
Gotta tan, and decided my MAJOR. (marketing.)
FINALLY.
Fixed my heart. Fell again. Stood up, met people, loved, lived.
Summer of black tops, spiders crawling up my legs, and attack of the wasps. Jokes, friends, and stalkers, I will miss you all.

From blonde to blonder to brown again. Back to my roots. My HAIR is a symbol of my life this summer. Finding symbolism in all. Always.  Awful?

This morning there were tears. Hidden well, but they were there. Sad to leave. Soaked it up, and now I'm ready.

Ready for tests and friends and people and everything and everything. Ready to walk up Old Main ready to eat taco salad 19 times a week. Ready to grow up and be.

It's not that I'm not nervous. Or scared. Somewhere deep down I am... I think! But what a waste really. September 4th will come. Will go. And this year will be wonderful. Or is wonderfully hard more like it? Surprises come and knock you over. Until one day? Maybe they won't. Oh wadda day.

Brentwood. I gon find you. Roommates? Please be good. Please? PLEASE?

The boxes are slowly (emphasis on the slowly) getting packed. Piles and piles and piles and piles. Car is vacuumed, washed and ready to go (minus the rear view mirror naturally) New beginnings are in the air. IS in the are? Art in the air? New beginnings art in the air. Can you feel it? I know I can. I wonder where and who (well... not literally who, but sort of who?) This time next year, Aug. 2011. 2010 is good for now. You've been good to me since June so why don't you continue to do so?

Packing lists?
All 10 billion 89 boxes of curry mix.
Coke.
Clothes of some sort?
Mattress pad?

Sure guys, I think that'll definitely do it for me. That needs to go to Bed Bath and Beyond as some complete pre compiled packing list. All the important things in life really.

Anyways, I guess this is my final adieu to Sum Sum 2010. SO BYE SUMSUM it's been real. .

See ya :)

Here's to earplugs and scantrons!

Packing for school.
Pictures of my Costo Christmas.

 New unders!

 Vegi chips (sounds healthy to me until I realize potatoes are vegis?), Flannel shirt for the Hell called Logan winter.

 My new Clarke's. From Nordstrom, not Costo, mind ya.

 I bought this RAD RAD RAD "Moleskine" planner, not realizing it's for 2011. Looks like I'll just be an orginazional mess until 2011 comes. I'm truly convinced this handy dandy Moleskine is my last hope.

Thanks, Mum:)

oh 30 minutes?? really? no just 10.

holy hannah. i'm in love.

and this is where we are.

Goals and to-do lists put a smile on my face.
Ok, so here we are. Making a list. I'll put bullets on it just to make it cute and official.

• Graduate college (ha! so far away it feels.)
• Read lots and lots of glorious books.
• Win friends and Influence People
• Laugh at YouTube videos
• Wipe off my lap top screen
• Figure out my schedule so my T/TH are not a 7 am class and a 7 pm class. Oh puleez. 
• FIND A REALLY STELLAR JOB!
• Love more. Be more loving. Be lovely. 
• Live in the moment. Love each day. Take it as it comes. The future is taken care of and the past is done.
• Meet people
• Get good grades
• Continue to find independence and peace.
• Get dresses dry cleaned because they are stinky. 

Sleep. Night.

new hair.

literally phoning Kristen while taking this picture. doubling up on technologies is soooo fun.

97 days and expectations and reality.

You know that scene in 500 Days of Summer, where Tom is walking up the stairs to Summer's party?  Regina Spektor's "Hero" is playing. There is a split screen, one side of the screen illustrating his expectations and the other, reality. It's so poignant and bitter. But so, so real. So touching, because we've all been there, in one way or another.

Today is the 97th day of this Summer.  97 days.  I wish I could have viewed this summer from afar, from a comfortable theater seat. There would have been no one in the theater except me and a few others, but no one in front of me so me feet would be comfortably propped up on the seat in front of me. I'd have watched the story of my days gone by as a split screen just like in 500 days of Summer. The split screen, illustrated all my great expectations on one side and all the unexpected realities on the other side.

I'm pretty sure this one has a happy ending.

Point is, on May 5th, the day I aced my last final and drove home. I expected a summer full of being in "love". I expected nights under the stars and Thai food and silliness. I expected everything to be perfect, just like last summer. Everything ended up, being just that PERFECT. Just what I needed, albeit hard to swallow, but it was wonderful. I would trade the lessons I've learned this summer for any of my perfect expectations. Because reality brought much needed lessons and growth.

Independence is a beautiful thing.

killing flies.

Lately I hang out with flies more than people. Which is sort of funny if you think about it, but anyways... In all my time hanging out with flies I've also killed a lot of my friends, and by friends I actually meant to say flies. Unreasonable amounts of them. I'm a cold blooded killer.

Until a few days ago, when all of the sudden, I couldn't do it anymore. I'd rather have the flies drive me mad than kill one. Like inflicting that PAIN on them hurts me!

Ok, wait, it's not that it's pain. Because they are dead. But I always imagine all the other  flies flittering over their friend and thinking, "Oh goodness!" And then they come over and mourn the loss of their fly friend and wonder if they are next. Then I remember flies are flies and not people.

How odd.

the secret life of... corn.

Don't tell anyone, but today I broke a rule. THE RULE. THE rule I've kept faithfully all summer long. I read a book. And, if I may, it was the most glorious rebellion of my life. It was strangely magical to sit there in my camping chair and be taken away to another world, far more exciting than mine. Well I mean, that wasn't really the magical part. The magical part was the commonalities I felt with the characters.

Snacking on peaches and cherries all the day long while I immersed myself in the book was rather magical as well if I do say so myself.

I mean, where I am I now? If you've read the book May has just died. And I'm heartbroken. Every little lost friendship or opportunity is bringing me to tears. I keep reminiscing and reminiscing. This is just wacko. I just wandered the halls of my house. Peaking into rooms, watching everyone peacefully sleep or read themselves to sleep. So peaceful. So perfect. So at rest. By far this is my favorite time of day. I hold onto the night time hours  every night hoping they won't slip away. No responsibilities, no hustle and bustle, just stillness. Time to think.  I don't know what any of this has got to do with May dying and I cannot even conjure up a good relation. I'm just spewing off randomness.  

On that note of randomness, there were FLIES flittering around everywhere today at the stand. If this sounds cute or whatever, which I don't know why it would, but if it does, don't be fooled. Not cute. I had an entire bin of rotten wratermrelons this morning, which is like the most putrid smell you could ever imagine in the entire world. Which flies love. Naturally. So me and the flies and The Secret Life of Bees just had a lovely party down on 300 S. Main today. Only, it was a terrible party.

My sweet old man friend, the one who drives the red jeep cherokee and who has a family entirely composed of names which start with the letter J drove by today. I didn't have his discounted jam berries and for some reason this made my heart feel oddly heavy. It broke my heart, that I didn't have a 20 dollar flat for him and instead only 40 dollar flats dang it. He has his jell for jam already and every thing and I couldn't help. I swear I wish I would've just bought them for him.
      As he drove away he said, "It was nice seeing you today." I like how he put that, because it was.

I'll miss J. and Moreno and all my corn stand "friends" in a few weeks. But I guess soon it's time to man up again, and to put on my college girl hat and do the college girl thing. I'm scared though. It's all new. It's not going to be anything like my fairy dreamland of cherries and corn and peaches and rotten wratermrelons. Soon, life moves forward. I'm trying to catch up, I am. And I will, one way or another, I will. It will be wonderful, for I will make sure of it.

Until then I've got a good 3 weeks plenty of endless(except not really) summer days. To dream and give free samples to ferrel children and read lovely books.

Let's get to it kids.

Whatever you do, watch this.

My Burden Was Made Light

school starts soon. shikes.

Number one: everything in my title started with an S and it wasn't even on purpose. How's that for spectacular?

Today I decided to act out my feelings  about how I feel about school starting in a photobooth session, naturally this is what a normal human would do to describe her feelings about something. I realize this blog is basically just 1000's of pictures of myself from photobooth. Because well, my life is just THAT exciting.

So... uh here is the pic that I feel best describes my feelings about school starting. I think the leg hug pose is always a good one for me... my shoes really bring out my bright beautiful eyes I think.

Anyways school starts soon, and I just cannot decide how I feel about this. I don't think I'm excited, am I? But only a tinge excited. It's been a wonderful summer but I'm almost ready to move forward with life now. Sitting at the corn stand all day is actually starting to get old (GASP!) I'm getting excited to meet new roommates and people and join clubs and skip class because it's too cold to go outside. Especially that last one. Oh, and I especially am uber excited about those wonderful weeks when you have 4 tests and a migraine all week long. Best! Ever!

27 days til school starts. 27 more lazy days. 26 or 25 more sleeps in my big cozy bed.