prioritization nation.

I had a fabulous day today, I mean FOR ONE THING I talked to the Mum like 4 different times on the phone. Don't be jeal. Just know, that this was a contribution to this great day. We are just best friends forever, that's really all.

Good day good day good day. Good stuff happened more good stuff happened and then I went to BALLET. Which of course = the most good ever. Tonight was fabulous, and all though I'm only going once a week or twice at best, I can feel it slowly coming back. AND MY FRIENDS, this is a beautiful feeling. I'm always a little trepidatious*** when class starts, but as I feel the old rotations coming back, and when my head and arms naturally expresses emotions kept inside, I feel like I've gone home. It's tough. It hurts. I'm still not what I used to be, I probably won't ever be. But, it feels better than ever now. Because I'm not under pressure, because I'm not beating myself up. The reason I'm loving it so much more this time, is because I AM DOING MY BEST, and finally, finally seeing that my best is enough.

Which leads me to a though that I wasn't even aware I was having. OMG FRIENDS! Exploration is fun. I think as a girl, and especially as a ballet dancer girl, it is easy for me to fall into thinking that I am never enough. That good enough, is never truly good enough. I think everyone struggles with this at some point, I hope I'm not the only one! Isn't funny though, how the perfectionist within is what ultimately brings the greatest disasters? I think I'm finally understanding that being perfect will not happen. It won't. My room will never be clean every second, sometimes I will fall behind in school, and there will be better dancers than me, but I am who I am because I am not the best dancer and because I catch up and because....  Ok, yeah. I know, this is getting horrendously cliche but cliches can be totally cool sometimes and totally inspirational so I hope this just falls into one of those categories. The point is the beauty is in the strife for perfection and even more so, an acute understanding that perfection is not what you're here for. I think I constantly have to remind myself of this.

Ballet was great tonight though, did I mention this. Omg kittens. Just GREAT. And then I had a wonderful drive home listening to music with the sunroof open (March is not equal to warm though, bummer). Today was good, and I am happy, and ballet is good, and I hope you're happy too.

Call me sometime ok?

*** I just found out trepidatious isn't a real word. I'm all the way way pissed because it's long been my fave word. Now it's my favorite not-word. How many people can say they have a favorite not-word? Also. I would like to know your favorite not-word. That would be funnest!