prioritization nation.

I had a fabulous day today, I mean FOR ONE THING I talked to the Mum like 4 different times on the phone. Don't be jeal. Just know, that this was a contribution to this great day. We are just best friends forever, that's really all.

Good day good day good day. Good stuff happened more good stuff happened and then I went to BALLET. Which of course = the most good ever. Tonight was fabulous, and all though I'm only going once a week or twice at best, I can feel it slowly coming back. AND MY FRIENDS, this is a beautiful feeling. I'm always a little trepidatious*** when class starts, but as I feel the old rotations coming back, and when my head and arms naturally expresses emotions kept inside, I feel like I've gone home. It's tough. It hurts. I'm still not what I used to be, I probably won't ever be. But, it feels better than ever now. Because I'm not under pressure, because I'm not beating myself up. The reason I'm loving it so much more this time, is because I AM DOING MY BEST, and finally, finally seeing that my best is enough.

Which leads me to a though that I wasn't even aware I was having. OMG FRIENDS! Exploration is fun. I think as a girl, and especially as a ballet dancer girl, it is easy for me to fall into thinking that I am never enough. That good enough, is never truly good enough. I think everyone struggles with this at some point, I hope I'm not the only one! Isn't funny though, how the perfectionist within is what ultimately brings the greatest disasters? I think I'm finally understanding that being perfect will not happen. It won't. My room will never be clean every second, sometimes I will fall behind in school, and there will be better dancers than me, but I am who I am because I am not the best dancer and because I catch up and because....  Ok, yeah. I know, this is getting horrendously cliche but cliches can be totally cool sometimes and totally inspirational so I hope this just falls into one of those categories. The point is the beauty is in the strife for perfection and even more so, an acute understanding that perfection is not what you're here for. I think I constantly have to remind myself of this.

Ballet was great tonight though, did I mention this. Omg kittens. Just GREAT. And then I had a wonderful drive home listening to music with the sunroof open (March is not equal to warm though, bummer). Today was good, and I am happy, and ballet is good, and I hope you're happy too.

Call me sometime ok?

*** I just found out trepidatious isn't a real word. I'm all the way way pissed because it's long been my fave word. Now it's my favorite not-word. How many people can say they have a favorite not-word? Also. I would like to know your favorite not-word. That would be funnest!

my coat named kitten.

My car is named kitten.
And now my coat is named kitten too.

Would you like to meet the newest addition to my life? I love this little kitten! I have been drooling over it and coveting it and dreaming about it for weeks. That's not an exaggeration. I just really wanted this coat, and now I really gotted this coat. My life is too good.

First things first, if you think I look like I was on ANTM. I wasn't. I just model in my spare time.

CUTE RIGHT?! I am way to materialistic. It's not a good thing, but at least I admit it. I don't think I'm going to really try and change this either.

I had a great weekend also. I will show you pictures, because why? Because pictures ROCK!

We cute? We made sushi on Friday. Tuna and smoked salmon and tempura shrimp and eel sauce AND AND JAPANESE MAYO. YUM. That's all I have to say.

baby oh baby.

Ok. So I'm almost hesitant to bring up this subject on my blog because I don't want to jinx things or something. 

But, that's unreasonable, so here I go, bringing it up.

I'm trying to think how to best describe my feelings about ballet- about how it makes me feel and about what it's done for me.

I was (and still am) PASSIONATE about ballet. I can't describe this passion. And you can't understand it, unless you are me, or at best, a dancer. It is stunning. It is a lifestyle. It IS EVERYTHING. Whether or not this latter statement is GOOD, it is nonetheless true. Which is why I'm trying to find my way back. 

To make a long story (that you've probably already heard) short, I got a ballet teaching job in Logan. I also got another sort of offer from a ballet studio in Logan. These 2 events have kind of lit a fire in my heart. I've tried over and over to go back but never have found any where that I felt gave me what I wanted or challenged me enough.

BUT TEACHING. SHARING: Oh my goodness. I think this may be it.

So anyways- how it makes me feel. What it's done for me.

There is this feeling of power when I'm dancing. It's amazing feeling to bring beauty into the world through movement. Isn't there so much power in that though, truly? As one person- I can make someone else feel something and I can inspire through MOVEMENT. That is power. 

And so, when I think about teaching, I think about this power being unparalleled. Being able to dance for these girls- being able to push them. It's exciting to me to think I get to share my experiences and be apart of that lifestyle again. It's beautiful. It's powerful. I am sounding like Hitler. 

I'm not power hungry.

I'm just ballet hungry... and I think I'm about to get my fix. 

that's how the song goes, right?

regardless of lyrics though, TIS indeed Saturday! What a good feeling that is.

So friends, here's what's up. 

Number first: MESSES CAUSE STRESSES. You can see it in my eyes can you not?? 

SO yesterday Tanner bought new pants and they ended up having a hole in the crotch. I thought it was super funny. But I guess it sort of sucked for him. 

I just realized I haven't done a post about SPRING BREAK 2011 yet either. I must say, one of the great things about still being at USU is Spring Break. That's not the only thing though. Duh. I love it here. But I love here while I'm in college just so you know. Because Logan is totally a crappy town.

I think I have some random pictures from my high quality cell PHONE CAMERA to show you... Ummm let's see...

Mainly I can't get any of the other ones to work right now. WORST.

But this is Jake and me and Tanner. So that's cool too. The other pictures weren't nearly as attractive as this one anyways..

I'll just have to tell stories about SPRING BREAK 2011 instead

We went to St. George. I love St. George. I bet yer totes jeal and I would say don't be, but really you should be. All the necessary S.G. fun was accomplished: Swimming, diving, dixie rock, biking and other stuff too... like eating. S.Geezy was beautiful for us that week. Which was great. The company was even better than the weather and we ate a lot of food, which I think is really the best part of all of this. We also skied Park City and Brighton over the weekend. GREAT week all in all and I feel super lucky to have the friends I do and to have been able to go on the trip. 

BUT-- the worst ever in the world was coming back! Toughie tough. I made through the week though. Last night I saw Unkown which I really liked... like a lot. And also watched Valkerie which made me super creeped out at Hitler, but I guess that's to be expected.  I've had a recent interest in movies that I can't even figure out but I am loving it. I saw this great movie the other day, Oceans 11? Wow. You should see it. Oh turns out you did. 10 years ago.

Ok. Vertical limit on Netflix is PRACTICALLY PUKING MY NAME.

Have a good weekend, ok?

this morning.

it was a good morning for studying.

pointless perfection

i'm wearing this belt and it's pinching my ribs
and it's bugging me
and it's bugging me
and then i realize i can just take it OFF.

hey there.

it's thursday.
wait, wednseday.
to answer your question kate- yes crispy sheets are preferable.

lately here are things that are good and here is why as well:

THE HUFFINGTON POST. i don't know if you've heard, but the huff is the new fbook. for me. I can waste way more time on there and I learn stuff occassionally.
Did you know the average fbook user spends 17 days per hour on the site? GET OFF THE FRONT DOOR!

I'm not joking.

CAREER FAIRS: Today I went to the career fair with this kid that I've been hanging out with a lot. Everybody treated me like I was 5. They gave me candy though so who really cares? I'll be 5 any day for candy.

NORTHFACE JACKETS ARE SO OVERDONE: hey every single human being: everyone is wearing one so it's not... like, that cool. Take off those leggings too. I did. Best decision of my life.

Other things for you if your bored or would like a new hobby or treat:

THE GYM. seriously! Who even knew this existed! Get over there. Check it out.

Miso soup mix. YUM YUM YUM. Wow.
Skiing  35 inches of new powder. Not that much fun I think. What do you think?
Am I being sarcastic? What do you think?

Warmth:

I WILL SEE YOU (probably not) in st george. SATURDAY-SATURDAY.

Ok.