give me more bruschetta.

last night ffff and i wanted to ride our bikes to IDAHO.
unfortunately it was windy and snowing and awful weather.
i don't know about you, but who wants to ride to IDAHO in that crap?
SO INSTEAD we had a feast. it was tasty tasty

feta bruschetta

tortellini with garlic onion sauce

roasted asparagus

roasted zucchini

all while listening to

Luciano Pavarotti

(which is a given i think.)

AND...

did i mention we topped it off with strabrerry shortcake?

NOW we're really going to have to ride our bikes to idaho.

after dinner we made silly faces.

mulan.

When I was like 8 years old I did this dance to the song reflections from Mulan. It was super inspirational and artistic. We spun around holding cosmetic mirrors and stared deep into our own eyes.  It was beauty. There is nothing like staring deep into your own eyes while wearing sequins. But, you know, I think there was something in it. In the words of Christina Aguilera, I must ask,
who is that girl i see staring straight, back at me? More reflective words have never been uttered. It's all very cheesy, believe me, I understand. But as this semester and school year come to a close, I can't help but reflect on myself and the tremendous lessons I've learned. I really feel like a different person. So I do believe it's my time to put on my sequin dress (I hope it still fits) and take a look at myself.

I've learned so much. I've come so far.
I've learned that people will surprise you... And I mean in a good way. I've been amazed at the goodness around me. My expectations are always exceeded.
I've learned that I am capable of more than I would have given myself credit for.
I've learned to appreciate life in all it's frailty-to take every opportunity that comes my way and to try and learn new things. Learning to ski may well be one of my most cherished fruits of the year. No... not cherished fruits... that sounds super lame. Why do these cheesy odd lines plague me?
      I've learned a lot about fear. What a fiend fear can be. Slowly over the course of the year, I've learned to replace fear and trepidation with something a lot more peace giving and worthwhile-faith. I'm so overwhelmingly HAPPY that my faith is deeper than ever. I've come to understand that faith takes work. What I've learned for myself (finally!) is that faith isn't about asking- it's about giving it your all and knowing that somehow, your all will be enough. That everything will work out. I'm so happy to say that I have strong beliefs, and that this year has really given me a chance to understand my fears and have countless prayers answered. I can't find a word to describe how AWESOME/GREAT/perfect/MAGNIFICENT/SPLENDID/beautifulydelightfulyDIVINE this is.
 I've learned about persistence. About the satisfaction of sticking things out.
I've learned that nobody is perfect- and that is OKAY.
I've learned to appreciate good friends.
I've learned that I ramble a lot and that this post should probably be continued another day...

today.

Today, the sun shineth. Oh what a glorious thing to behold.

Today I feel peace. I feel hopeful. I know I'm not alone. Today makes Friday feel like forever.

And can I just say? ... I am anxiously awaiting Saturday afternoons at the Farmers Market.=!!!!!!

que hacer:

sometimes college makes me feel positively insane.
today... isn't one of those days, but I have a lot of em.
i don't know what it is... maybe the perfectionist in me?
maybe i'm weak?
maybe... it's just hard?

but there are days... when I have so much to do...
so i write it all down on a list, you know...my to-do's.
to-do lists make me crazy though.
as soon as it's all on paper, i feel a strong urge to NOT do it.
like i don't want to do it so bad... i'd rather... i'd rather... eat my foot.
which doesn't make sense, aren't to-do lists supposed to help?

MAYBE for some people. but..
definitely not for me.
i see the list and my stomach churns.
i don't even put little box thingies next to the to do's.
i know that there's no need.

so instead.
i keep it all in my head.
punch dancing around.
moshing around.
making me positively nutso.

evetentually..well..usually,
it all gets done, some way or another.
which is all that really matters... right?

sometimes though, college just really makes me crazy.
maybe not college, mostly just the weather.
and college.

running ranting goals silly skiing me.

I just went running for the first time in like 3 months. I only ran about a mile and a half. Yeah, weak. I know. The thing about running for me, is that I have no confidence in my ability. I start out the run thinking, what are you getting yourself into?! You're no runner! And throughout the whole run I'm not even sure if I can do it. I stop to walk for a second. Feel better, and then continue. When I go, and it's hard, I think, I don't want to do this again! So I don't. Until three months later, when I have forgotten how much I hate it.

AND YET... Every time I go running I make a goal.

I say, I'm going to do this 3 times a week! I'm going to run a half marathon! Hahaha. I'm so funny sometimes. BUT whatever. I'm working at it. I'm just starting out slow. I love what it does for me and, I want it to be a part of my life. I know the only thing that is stopping me is my mind. I know that if I had more faith in the ability of my body, I would be fine. I know that if I was less afraid of running and realized more that I have a young healthy, fit body, it would make things easier on me.

The thing is, is that it is HARD! (duh.) But that's o.k. Hard doesn't mean impossible. It just makes for greater rewards... err, at least I hope so.

In other news... me and fffffff hiked beaver a last week (it closed on the 1st) and skied some fresh POW and it was heaven. (pictured above) This was my first time skiing powder (since this is also my first ski season). Let me just say. HEAVEN. Nothing nothing nothing compares. Let's just say I cackled the entire way down the mountain. OH. YES.